Election Day!

I find politics about as interesting as I find accounting or different species of slug or anything to do with finance. I know I should care more as democracy is a wonderful thing and people died so that I can have the vote. Can’t think who exactly, but it’s a common expression so it must be true. Guy Fawkes maybe? Anyway, we should all vote. The fact that democracy doesn’t really work and has so many flaws it’s laughable, doesn’t alter the fact that it is the best thing we humans can come up with. Beneficial dictatorship is actually the best but until we invent longevity drugs the whole leader-dying-and-having-a-pillock-taking-over always rears its ugly head. Plus you could end up with a sanitized slightly fascist state like Singapore where you can’t chew gum and kids are caned if they graffitti. Although I have to admit I’m actually all for those two rules.

So it’s election day. I’m pretty damned excited! No more fucking letters or MPs coming round my house. Because I live in a wealthy area the politicians have been hassling myself and my neighbours incessantly. Presumably because we are all terrified about tax rates and the fact we might have to pay more. I’ve had letters almost daily for last two weeks. They clearly hate trees.

Usually it's just the two.

Traditionally we have two parties to choose from that might get into power. The highly annoying Labour and the highly annoying Tories. ┬áTradition has it that we vote one party in, they stay there for years, then a new generation of voters come in and think that the other party will make everything better and vote them in. It’s now the Tories’ turn. Except that doesn’t seem to be the case. Labour have clearly fucked everything up. The economy crashed, they sold all our gold, they went into a war that no one agrees with except the Bush family, oil producers, and weapons dealers, and tons and tons more. Even so, people are still wary of voting for the Tories. That is quite a feat! More people are going to vote for the Lib Dems just because there’s not a lot else to do. Well, racists have the BNP, but apart from their blinkered ‘hate immigrants because they have caused all our woes and things were better when we were … ummm, pre-Celtish pagans? Angles? Anglo-Saxons under Norman rule? Er…’ view, there’s not much choice. (Britain has been populated by immigrants since the dawn of mankind for Christ’s sake, at least they no longer rape and pillage.)

So we are now facing a hung parliament. What does that mean? I hear you asking. I heard myself asking it too. If you ask anyone they will probably say that it leads to ‘proportional representation’ in in a wise and slightly condensing tone. If, like me, you have no idea what that is either and continue your questions, then people tend get a bit vague. Some say it is bad, others good. It will mean more debate about issues and not dickhead knee-jerk reactions like Labour just did with the ridiculous new internet download laws. On the hand hand there will be less focus when it comes to steering our economy. Apparently.

It’s all very tedious and I can’t believe I have written this much about something I know and care so little about. Here’s a cynical prediction – not much will change. People will whinge. The press will satirise and appeal to their readers. Look at a newspaper front page from a 100 years ago. (Look one up, any one.) It is almost identical to now. (Obviously I’m not including the Star in this.) Complaints about immigration and being stricter on youths and worries about drunkenness and wars and budgets and so on.

I read that out of the top 16 A rated secure economies in the world 10 are coalition governments. Like we might be about to get. Don’t know what an A rated economy is exactly but they sound good. Germany is one and has a coalition government and Greece doesn’t and isn’t. Is that proof? Fuck knows.

Do I have a point in this post? Not really. Just go and vote for someone. One of these:

Brown. If I was puerile I could mock the name alone.

Cameron? Really? Will he be better or just a bit different?

Clegg. Winning votes by the sartorially astute.

Well, that is all I have to say on the election. Which, if you analyse all I have written is both insightful yet devoid of any meaning or concrete opinion of any kind. Or is it? I can’t decide. On anything. I’m going to bed.

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2 thoughts on “Election Day!

  1. Pingback: Tweets that mention Election Day! - The Word of Ward -- Topsy.com

  2. Paul

    for some reason I read this from the bottom up. Not sure why, but politics seems to make more sense that way. So did you vote for the the idiot or the other guy?

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