Don’t Watch The Fantastic ‘The White Lotus’ On A Plane!

As the latest series of The White Lotus is set in Thailand, where I currently live, friends have pestered me incessantly to watch the show. Even an old fellow I play backgammon against on the internet told me off for not watching it.

To be fair, I had always wanted to watch The White Lotus since series one, but didn’t want the hassle of torrenting or signing up to HBO in another country and having to use a VPN all the time. Happily HBO Max is now in Thailand so I signed up a couple of weeks ago and having been bingeing ever since.

I recently popped to Hong Kong for a week, and flew on Cathay Pacific, which has an impressive library of things to watch. When The White Lotus popped up as an option, I decided to watch a couple of episodes.

Warning – this post has a few spoilers for series one.

Back in the day, films on planes were limited and censored

When I was a kid, everyone had to watch the same film and it was projected on a screen and was heavily edited for the sensibilities of the most emotionally delicate child. Kids were less emotionally vulnerable back then, but it was still pretty tame. Then we got individual flat screens, but even then, aeroplane films were heavily edited. That’s no longer the case.

Anyway, the first couple of episodes of The White Lotus (season one) were a bit rude, but not too bad. There were a few backside shots and flashes of nudity, but nothing too egregious.

I always opt for an aisle seat and you are conscious that people in seats down one side of the aisle can see what you are watching. I am constantly checking out what people in front of me are watching, and I can’t believe people behind me aren’t doing the same. So the odd pair of buttocks or a cheeky flash of a nipple are a flash of embarrassment, but not too bad.

I got hooked and want to see what was going to happen

Although it was a tiny bit slow in parts, the first few episodes gave me a good taste of what the show had in store. It is entirely character driven, and as the characters are well-written with great dialogue, there was a lot of promise. Also, the way the hook is set at the start is a stroke of genius.

I could tell pretty early on it was incredibly well-written with decent characters have interesting arcs. The story and the knowledge of how things were going to pan out a week later were developing nicely and my interest was piqued.

Basically, I was hooked and wanted to watch more.

I then had to suffer through five days of Hong Kong, eating awesome food, hanging out with good friends I have known for over 30 years, watching the Hong Kong 7s, seeing art in biennales and so on. Obviously, I am being sarcastic – Hong Kong is awesome, you should go.

Anyway, on the way back, I thought I would risk a couple more episodes. Again – the odd risqué bit, but not too bad.

There is one scene that is built up to that was making me anxious…

It was near the end of the fourth episode that I started to get more nervous. Mild spoiler – Armond has established he is an ex-addict who suffers from a lack of inhibition after he has had a couple of- well, anything. You get a hint of how uninhibited he is when he first falls off the wagon and a drunk character (and guest) asks him if receiving anal is fun and he asks, “Do you want to find out?”

Side note – Armond is by far my favourite character in the first season. His descent to his self-destructive nature was superbly written. The way his personality clashes with Shane’s points to an inevitable confrontation and it is so well done.

Everything was building to something shocking. I was on a plane in the aisle seat. We were going to land soon. I was increasingly regretting watching The White Lotus on a biggish tablet on the back of a seat that dozens could see.

But as I said, I was hooked.

The plane is not a good place to watch risky stuff

When Armond decides to let loose, you know by this point it is going to be pretty shocking. (Nothing compared to what happens later.) I needed to know what was going to happen, but I was equally concerned about how plane-friendly it was going to be. When Shane and Belinda go to the office, and you know Armond is in there with a young male staff member, it is clearly going to be memorable.

Shane and Belinda get to the door and knock. No response. But there are voices (or at least noises) inside, so they open the door.

At this point, my finger was hovering over the screen. I thought I could touch it, then skip forward 10 seconds.

The door is opened and Shane and Belinda stand there in shock. I was in something of a dilemma. Do I pause it now and watch what happens after we land? Do I risk having an image that others can see flashing up on my screen?

Well, a bit like Armond, I, too, have no self-control. I let the video play on.

I was then greeted by a naked Armond with his face buried between a pair of bare buttocks. It was hilarious but embarrassing to be watching in public. What was the old lady a few rows back going to think? The character then pulls back and looks in horror at the door, the naked backside inches from his face. I pressed the screen in a panic, and it paused. I was about to fast forward 10 seconds when it happened.

The announcements about landing began.

This caused the screen to freeze, the image of Armond’s face looking round in horror and a naked arse on the left. The announcements went on for sodding ages, and there was nothing I could do. (Maybe there was, I just didn’t know how.)

So, I sat there and squirmed, trying not to look around while the pilot babbled on about how Bangkok was currently a bit sweaty. Then, finally, he shut up, and the video continued. It was a tad embarrassing, and annoyingly, the episode finished seconds later.

The White Lotus is definitely worth a watch

The above waffle aside, I really enjoyed the show. I have since watched season two and that was equally fun. It is nice to watch something where the characters drive the plot, and it is done so well.

I was thinking of reviewing season one, but there isn’t much point. It is pretty old by streaming standards, and we are now on season three, which I am about to watch at home.

But if you haven’t watched any of The White Lotus yet, I highly recommend the show. Just don’t watch it on a plane – it is too nerve-wracking.