Tag Archives: amazon

Amazon Prime Air

In a few years we will be in a fabulous and impatient science fiction-esque world with unmanned vehicles flying stuff to your very front door. But this is not appearing on the awesome Scifiward website as it is soon to be a reasonably exciting reality. As early as 2015 if Amazon is to be believed. Here is the idea: you place an order and a quad-copter thing flies it to your house. Pretty cool right? Here is a lovely picture:

Amazon Prime Air

Amazon Prime Air

Although I personally think it will be brilliant to have robots flying all over the place, I foresee a few problems with this:

It will only be for Prime customers. So it might be a fairly pricey object being delivered. Consequently it may be a target for ne’er-do-wells.

Even if it isn’t a target because of its perceived value, it still may have something fun inside it like a DVD or Bluray or whatever. Like a ‘mystery box’ of the air. People will try and shoot it down.

Even if it isn’t even carrying anything, people will try and take it down because people are just dicks. In Britain, they will try and take it down with stones or whatever. In America they have guns. In other countries they fire weapons in the air because they are happy/angry on a daily basis.

What if you live in a flat?

I can’t see me using this service very often myself. The main things I buy these days are books (delivered to my kindle through the internet), films (mostly downloaded legally or on Netflix) and games (download or Christmas gifts). The only thing I have delivered are Blurays, but with increasing bandwidths and cheaper cloud storage, I won’t even need that. But that’s just me.

However, I may change my tune if the following comes to pass. I am going to assume the drones will be able to zoom in on your mobile phone location as that is pretty damn easy to do. If this is the case and they deliver from their entire range then presumably I will be able to lie in a field on a summer’s day and with a tap of a finger can have a bottle of wine or a six-pack of ale delivered to my location. If that happens I will welcome this technology heartily.

Here is a clip:

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Amazon can see into my brain

This morning I logged into Amazon and checked out my recommendations. At first I was a bit shocked at what kind of twisted artistic deviant they must think I am. Then I realized they had actually got it pretty right. I don’t know what kind of cunning algorithms they have there but it was like looking at a snapshot of my colossal brain. The sort of things that make my mighty brain tick. Here are the top 4:

Seraphine

Seraphine

First up, is an arty French film with a classic arthouse tale. A French chick a hundred years ago has a really shitty life. All she likes to do is make art whenever she has a spare moment. Just to make things shitter, the First World War then breaks out. Eventually an art dealer discovers her and everything comes up trumps. This recommendation is obviously because Amazon recognises a sensitive artistic soul.

Big Tits Zombie 3DBig Tits Zombie

Yup. This was number two. Obviously this should be near the top of any red-blooded male zombie fan’s list. Big breasted Oriental chicks with chainsaws in 3D! How could that be bad? Well obviously it could be a pretty crap but with zombies, breasts, and chainsaws, it can’t be awful.

The Fields of DeathThe Fields of Death by Simon Scarrow

This recommendation was easier to work out as I had read the three books that lead up to this and I love historical fiction. An awesome, epic tale that recounts the lives of Napoleon and Wellington until they finally meet at Waterloo. It’s cool because it is a real story and one of those historical tales that would be a bit far fetched if it was fiction. Huge bloody battles galore!

Mass Effect 2

Mass Effect 2

This was a superb recommendation as it is actually a game I have already played on PC. Epic, brilliant space adventure at it’s best. I fucking love this game so much. The sequel is coming out soon and I will be getting that. This was a recommendation as I clearly enjoy brilliance.

So there you go. If you are a psychic and were lucky enough to meet me and probed my mind, this is pretty much what’s in there. A dash of moving and miserable art, a dollop of chainsaw wielding Asian porn horror, a splodge of historical swashbuckling and violence, and a healthy splattering of space blasters and epic galactic adventure.

It’s just bit scary that Amazon knows this. Get out of my mind!

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