Mexican Fighting Midgets Killed By Fake Prostitutes

I read this is the paper and thought I would share as both a word of warning to Mexicans and because it was one of the most intriguing headlines I have ever read. Sorry if it causes offence but this is the internet and there is a lot worse out there.

Ok. Apparently there is a Mexican fighting league that are all midgets. Two of them were out drinking and whoring before a big match  (well why not, it sounds like a stressful job) when they got chatting to a couple of hookers. Unfortunately the prostitutes in question weren’t real and were actually part of a gang that drugged their victims drink and robbed them.

They used a normal dose and this proved a bit too strong for the poor fellows.

I know this is a tragedy. I know this is sad. I certainly don’t want hundreds of fighting Mexican midgets after me. I just had to write that headline down, I really couldn’t help myself. There is clearly something wrong with me.

In other news I read that a Japanese rail firm is using technology to scan employee faces to ensure that its staff is smiling permanently and with the correct broadness. According to the BBC:

“Computerised scanners around 15 Tokyo stations will measure the smile’s curvature to ensure it is broad enough.

Those failing to measure up – literally – will be advised to look less serious and more cheerful.”

This is a little too intrusive for my liking although it would be amusing to make it compulsory for tube workers if they ever go on strike again. Except they’ll probably strike about it, the humourless bastards. Maybe mayor Boris should hire a load of fighting midgets to do his enforcing. I’m sure they’d be smiling.