Holy shit. I just turned on the TV and thought: “I haven’t watched terrestrial tv on a Saturday evening for years, I wonder what it’s like these days?” Astoundingly, it’s even worse. Fucking awful in fact. I tuned in half way through a show called ‘Hole in the wall’. Which I’m thankful about as it means I missed half of it. Here’s the premise: A contestant stands at the edge of a pool and a polystyrene wall with a variety of holes cut out move toward the contestant. If the stupid sap manages to mimic their body to the pillock shaped hole they win points. If they don’t, they get pushed by the wall into the pool.
That’s it. Really. If that’s not bad enough, the people involved are ghastly. I think they might be celebrities. I’m sure one was Annabelle Croft – a tennis player I lusted after about 20 years ago. She’s an English tennis player, so not many would have heard of her. I have no idea who the others were but I was generally led to believe they were well known. Maybe they are scientists or philosophers or something. The presenter was a strange looking man with a bizarrely long face. He reminded me of Charles Grodin (from Beethoven and Midnight Run) after his head had been squashed from the sides. He looked like a happy horse and kept doing strange spins and turns, so I think he might be a dancer or something.
Anyway, it was fucking awful. There’s my review. Here’s a clip, which might even make you chortle. Probably will in fact, because it’s actually quite funny. But then imagine half an hour of it. And despair. I’ll give Saturday night on normal TV another 10 years.