This morning I logged into Amazon and checked out my recommendations. At first I was a bit shocked at what kind of twisted artistic deviant they must think I am. Then I realized they had actually got it pretty right. I don’t know what kind of cunning algorithms they have there but it was like looking at a snapshot of my colossal brain. The sort of things that make my mighty brain tick. Here are the top 4:
First up, is an arty French film with a classic arthouse tale. A French chick a hundred years ago has a really shitty life. All she likes to do is make art whenever she has a spare moment. Just to make things shitter, the First World War then breaks out. Eventually an art dealer discovers her and everything comes up trumps. This recommendation is obviously because Amazon recognises a sensitive artistic soul.
Yup. This was number two. Obviously this should be near the top of any red-blooded male zombie fan’s list. Big breasted Oriental chicks with chainsaws in 3D! How could that be bad? Well obviously it could be a pretty crap but with zombies, breasts, and chainsaws, it can’t be awful.
This recommendation was easier to work out as I had read the three books that lead up to this and I love historical fiction. An awesome, epic tale that recounts the lives of Napoleon and Wellington until they finally meet at Waterloo. It’s cool because it is a real story and one of those historical tales that would be a bit far fetched if it was fiction. Huge bloody battles galore!
Mass Effect 2
This was a superb recommendation as it is actually a game I have already played on PC. Epic, brilliant space adventure at it’s best. I fucking love this game so much. The sequel is coming out soon and I will be getting that. This was a recommendation as I clearly enjoy brilliance.
So there you go. If you are a psychic and were lucky enough to meet me and probed my mind, this is pretty much what’s in there. A dash of moving and miserable art, a dollop of chainsaw wielding Asian porn horror, a splodge of historical swashbuckling and violence, and a healthy splattering of space blasters and epic galactic adventure.
It’s just bit scary that Amazon knows this. Get out of my mind!